Feel at Ease in your Own Skin

Have you ever had the experience of wishing some aspect of yourself were different? Maybe even hyper-focusing on it, so much so that it undermines your ability to feel good as a whole?

It’s a pretty relatable experience…

I won’t name names but I knew someone once who had spent her life beating herself up about the way she looked & sadly, was a pretty unhappy person as a whole. But what stood out to me was the day she saw a photo of herself from 10 years previous & surprisingly remarked, “WOW, I actually looked pretty good---too bad I hated myself so much, even back then!”

What a shame, right? To go through life, feeling shitty in your own skin, only to have a shift of perspective in hindsight!  

My hope is that the tools & ideas I’ll share in this blog will help you (or anyone you share this with) to start feeling better TODAY.

It doesn’t mean that we can’t still DO things to change, grow, and improve certain aspects of ourselves, but here’s the SECRET: We don’t have to feel miserable or hate ourselves while doing it.

The ultimate goal for of all of us is not only to have everything in our bodies and minds working well, but also to feel good about what we’ve got! When we feel at ease in our own skin, we are happier, we treat others better, and we're more likely to be the fullest expression of ourselves. Isn’t that the ultimate goal, after all??

But more and more we are seeing that people don’t feel good in their own skin, especially in the younger generations. So many are anxious, depressed, don’t have physical energy or motivation, metabolically out of whack, and caught in the comparison/perfection game fueled by so much time spent online…

To be honest, I haven’t completely mastered the highly critical part of myself---I still sometimes find myself saying shitty things to myself, but it’s about how much airtime I give to it. I am more aware of when I engage in this negative self-talk, and I’ve devised a framework to help shift into feeling better about myself.

For instance, if I catch myself looking at my “weird-ass” teeth (which are full of gaps & irregular sizing), instead of dwelling on how much more normal or prettier I’d look with white, Chiclet teeth, I do the following:

1)    STOP the berating and ask, “Is there anything I want to do about it?”  This can be a very powerful question because taking action is much more empowering than just harping on what’s wrong. However, some things are more actionable than others. In the case of my teeth, maybe it means scheduling a consult with a dentist to find out what’s involved in a dental makeover…

I've debated it, but I’ve never had a single cavity, braces, or anything go wrong with them, so it doesn't feel right to mess with something that’s not broken. Even if the answer is to not take action, it's still a reminder that I'm making a choice, which can make it easier to accept. AND if the answer is yes to take some form of action, then feel empowered in your decision to do something about it!

2)    Regardless of whether you choose action or acceptance, or some combination of both, the next step is to use a powerful hypnotic tool I’ve discovered: I call it "Switching the Lens". This is the most important part of the process.

For “Switching the Lens”, imagine for a moment that you are at the eye doctor’s office. You know that part of the visit when various lenses are rotated in front of your eyes for you to decide “better or worse”?

If I catch myself looking in the mirror and saying shitty things to myself, I literally imagine switching the lens to one that takes in a wider field of vision, to one that encompasses all of who I am, not just what I've been hyper-focused and critical about. To a "better" vision of myself.

I move from tunnel vision to broader focus that includes the strengths I possess. This doesn’t just have to include physical traits, but it also cheesy things like the general warmth I exude :-)

3)    An important part of switching the lens is to pay attention to the language you use. Even if it’s just in my own head, when describing something like my teeth, “weird-ass”, can become “quirky & unique”. “Fat cow” can shift to something like “curvaceous & feminine”. It’s amazing how much better you can feel by a simple swap in wording.

4)    Marinate in this more positive vision for as long as you can hold it for. Give that much more airtime to noticing these positive qualities (at least 3 X more---this comes from Rick Hanson’s research in his books, The Buddha’s Brain and Hardwiring Happiness where he talks about how, “Our brains are like Velcro for the bad & Teflon for the good”). Since neuroscience shows that our brains are hardwired towards the negative, we need to counter-balance that negativity bias by spending more time marinating in the good.

I’ve found this 4-step process to be most effective when repeating it with regularity. That way I'm literally strengthening the muscles of positive self-belief.

Addressing any physiological imbalances can also make a world of difference. If you're depleted in certain key nutrients, hormones are out of whack, or digestion leaves you feeling frequently bloated, it's that much harder to feel good in your own skin. When I work with clients, I'm often balancing the emotional work with the physiological---I run lab work to make sure nutrient & hormone levels are optimized, help to balance moods, improve digestion, teach techniques for taming cravings & addictions, and/or utilize hypnosis---all with the eventual outcome of feeling that much better as a whole!

Here’s an excerpt from a recent client testimonial:

Working with Siri truly changed my life. I honestly can't put into words how grateful I am for Siri and the work we did together. She helped me reconnect with parts of myself that I thought were gone forever. If you're considering working with her -- do it. It will be one of the best things you ever do for yourself.” ---Elsa R.

I’d like to end by giving a shout out to the Aimee Lee Wood’s (British actress in White Lotus) and the Lizzo’s (American singer & musician) who show us that unconventional teeth & bodies don’t have to hold us back from being the fullest expressions of ourselves. And shout out to any of you who decide to start implementing these tools today, instead of waiting 10 years to finally have a more positive perspective!

I’m currently offering a 3-Session Special called “Feel at Ease in your Own Skin” for anyone looking to dive deeper and get more personalized support. Check it out!